Re-release of My Past Life as a Dung Beetle!

Hello! Today is the re-release of My Past Life as a Dung Beetle. I'm very excited. It has a brand new cover, by artist Ashley Atkins, and a few minor additions. The story was inspired by my brother, who buys storage units and collects all kinds of stuff. I was afraid to admit that before because I didn't want him to think I was making fun of him. Quite the contrary! My brother is quite a character and has a wonderful wife. I have added a dedication to him.

I absolutely love the new cover. Ashley Atkins read the story and created a perfect representation of it.

BLURB:

Jim Williams loves to collect stuff, but his wife thinks it's all crap. He may have led a past life as a dung beetle.

REVIEWS:

RamenNoodleBookReviews.com

Yes, it’s only 11 pages long, but in these 11 pages is a truly wonderful, unique story that has you thinking and laughing with every sentence. It’s about a man who believes that in his past life he was a dung beetle, of which he is quite proud. Why would anyone want to be a dung beetle, you are probably asking? I know I was. By the end of this book, you’ll have that answer, along with a warm feeling in your heart for the man and his family.

(The 2nd edition is 13 pages long.)

H. Temple 

Finally a book of hoarder justifications! Junk collectors and their families would appreciate this book. This book won’t cure junk retention, but it might make you laugh.

Maria Hammarblad

My past life as a dung beetle is about a collector of random stuff and his family. I had no idea what to expect when I started reading it, and the first couple of pages both amused and confused me. They were funny and cute, but I didn't get it. Then, the story really got going, and I hurried through it with a smile on my lips. All the pieces fell into place and everything made sense.

I'm sure I stem from a genetic line of gatherers. I save all sorts of crap because it might be useful at some point in the future. My husband has a collection of collections. My past life as a dung beetle made me smile with recognition, root for the hero, and sympathize with the heroine. It is a touching story about life, well worth reading.

BUY LINKS:

Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00GP3HF5O

Barnes & Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/my-past-life-as-a-dung-beetle-lk-hatchett/1122768575

Kobo: https://store.kobobooks.com/en-us/ebook/my-past-life-as-a-dung-beetle

Apple: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/id1047811384

This story was edited by Michelle Browne at Magpie Editing.
 Thanks for stopping by!

Covet Blog Tour: Author Interview

Hiding in an isolated Newfoundland outport, Scarlett Winters is the living bearer of the secret of immortality. Sebastian Sinclair, vampire and stealer of souls, might be her only hope to escape a deadly power struggle. But can she trust him? Caught between sacrificing her morals and betrayal by those she trusted, Scarlett will risk everything to escape...unless she dies trying.

  

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Tina Traverse fell in love with writing at the age of eight when she wrote her version of the bible story, The Good Samaritan, for a homework assignment.

This love grew into a passionate affair and has been ongoing for thirty years; and there are no signs of it waning.

Though, she admits, when she was pregnant with her son Christian, the affair cooled.

Tina’s desire to write came calling once again when she needed to find a way to cope with heartbreaking news.

Christian was diagnosed with autism in 2010.

Her method of coping was to write a story about his journey called Forever, Christian.

Tina likes to joke that a girl can only write about real life for so long without jumping back into the world of make believe.

She loves to venture into the world of the supernatural; vampires and witches are her favourite!

Tina enjoys all sorts of vampires but admits that she is fascinated with the modern romantic vampire (think Twilight and The Vampire Diaries).

She is currently working on a vampire series based on her first published book, Destiny of The Vampire and has other projects in the works.

When Tina is not at the computer creating her exciting, magical worlds, she is kept on her toes by her two sons, Christian and Brandon.

Sometimes the author manages to curl up in her favourite chair with a good book.

            

1) What is your next project?

My next project is book two in the Scarlet Desire series.

2) What do you measure success to be?

For me, success is not how many books one sells or becoming the next J.K. Rowling. It’s having a dream and sticking with it through the hard times.

3) Who inspires you?

 My family, friends and my awesome editor who has encouraged and supported me into becoming a better writer.

4) Who is your favourite author?

I enjoy many of my fellow indie authors but my favourite is Stephen King. While I enjoy is novels, he’s my favourite because of his life story. Knowing how he struggled at first but kept his dream going inspires me to do the same through my own struggles.

5) Who are you as a person? Tell us things about you that are not already in your bio?

Wow, that’s a toughie. My life is an open, but short book, more like a novella actually. My bio says it all. Almost. Heh. I suffer from depression and for a while I lost interest in writing. It was seeing Stephen King’s life story on TV that inspired me to dive back into my passion.

I want to try screenwriting.

I had a dog for 20 years. He died a couple of months before my eldest son was born. I miss him every day and wish I can have another dog but my youngest is terrified of dogs.

As a young girl I spend hours dancing and singing outside on the front lawn for the captive audience of my teddy bears. When I grew into a teenager, those performances went behind a closed door.

I’m a tart for the spotlight. Which is funny because most of the time I’m shy and reserved.

I’m going to literally die from laughing. Trust me. When I laugh hard, I stop breathing for several seconds before I can regain my breath. I also can cry so hard from the laughing that my eyes swell just like if I had been upset.

Things that may or may not be true…

I keep vampires in my basement to do my bidding.

I’m a powerful witch.

A certain TV vampire actor is my secret lover.

That’s all I’m allowed to tell you about me! LOL.

I like to thank you for this interview, it was a pleasure and an honour.

Long may your jib draw!

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QR Review: Regarding your Position as our Third Year Teacher by Sylvia Spruck Wrigley

There is a new site for short fiction that has a lot of great stories waiting to be discovered. It is called QuarterReads. I am both a reader and a writer there. As a reader, I have found numerous stories I'd love to comment on. There is no review system on QuarterReads, which I find is a good thing, especially with so much abuse of the review system on other sites. So, I've decided to start reviewing QuarterReads stories on my blogs (yes, I have two. I'll figure out the logistics later.). This is going to be fun!

The first story I'd like to present is "Regarding your Position as our Third Year Teacher" by Sylvia Spruck Wrigley. This story is written as a termination letter of the humorous misadventures of a third grade school teacher, we know only as Miss Vesta. Even more amusing is the fact that the teacher teaches at no ordinary school. Miss Vesta teaches at the School for Off-World Learning for Space Station Children.

The letter outlines a few things the teacher has done to get herself laid-off. They were so funny, I was grinning from ear to ear the entire time, even laughing out loud. The teacher wanting to impart on the third grade children of the School for Off-World Learning for Space Station Children the error of their ways, of things they cannot possibly understand (having never even been to Earth), was hilarious.

And to find out the length of the teacher's contract and how long she actually lasted was too funny!

The story is labeled as Science Fiction, but it could easily fit in the Humor (fiction) section too.

QuarterReads has a rating system of 1 to 4, with 1 being "Didn't work at all for me" and 4 being "Loved it." I give this story 4 quarters for "Loved it!"

Read the story here: https://quarterreads.com/story.php?id=250

Favorite and find more QuarterReads stories by Sylvia Spruck Wrigley here: https://quarterreads.com/writer.php?id=102

Sylvia Spruck Wrigley's Website: http://www.intrigue.co.uk/

Follow her on Twitter: @akaSylvia

Cover Reveal: Zombies in Love by Nora Fleishcher

Blurb:

Jack Kershaw just wants to hold on to his new job at Lisa Alioto's pizza parlor, and to keep Lisa from finding out that he's a zombie. But Jack learns that he and Lisa are in serious danger. His second chance at life is the inadvertent result of a lab experiment by two graduate students, and Winthrop University-- a school which knows how to keep its secrets-- will do anything necessary to conceal that someone on campus raised the dead. With the help of Boston's zombie horde, can Jack and Lisa escape Winthrop's sinister clutches?

Excerpt:

All the peace that had come over Jack in the morgue was gone. Even though he was jogging back to Lisa’s apartment-- and getting some strange looks because he was wearing a set of scrubs and a pair of flip-flops he’d liberated from the hospital-- he felt a terrible restlessness. Like he couldn’t be still, ever again.

No, that wasn’t it-- he felt the sort of prickly awareness of a mouse being watched by a owl. It felt as though something was after him, something with a stride matching his own, something that reached out with a pale cold hand...

He reached the door of Lisa’s apartment, thudded up the stairs, and pounded at the closed door. She opened it like she’d been waiting next to it for hours. Out the door came the rosy scent of her body, the heat of her, and in the center of the candle flame, Lisa’s beautiful daredevil smile.

"You're back! How'd it go? I dropped off the satchel, just like we planned, and the guy seemed to know exactly what it was for," she said. He followed her in. "I’ve never done anything like that in my life. Wasn’t that crazy, wasn’t that wild?"

"Stick with me, honey," he said. "We’ll have fun."

She smiled and squeezed his bare upper arm roughly enough for him to feel it. Heat seared his cold skin. "And tomorrow, we go back to work, and I know I’m going to be standing there, giving people their pizza and thinking, ‘All you people, you don’t know a damn thing about me, you don’t know what I’ve been up to.’ Me and my secret life."

And then it all made sense. He knew what he wanted. He reached up and kissed her. For a moment she seemed surprised, but then she pressed closer to him, and he became aware of how thin his scrubs were, and that her body heat flew through them as if he were naked. And the way her mouth tasted! He could feel it over his tongue, the unique taste of her body, as if it was sinking into his body, changing all of his cells, drawing a little of her into him, forever...

"You smell like lilacs," he said, "did I ever tell you that? Like lilacs and cinnamon. And you’re so warm."

Bio: Nora Fleischer has a PhD from Winthrop University, and promises every word of this story is true. She lives in Minneapolis with her lovable husband Sven and children Wolfgang and Anastasia. She’s on Twitter as @zombinanora and blogs (sometimes) at norafleischer.livejournal.com.



The book is available at http://www.amazon.com/Zombies-Love-Nora-Fleischer-ebook/dp/B00NUA5CJQ/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8

GUARDIAN - Release Day!

GUARDIAN (Proxy, #2) by Alex London Release Date: May 29, 2014 Hardcover, 352 pages Publisher: Philomel Genre: YA / Dystopian / LGBT

The pulse-pounding sequel to Proxy! Inspired by The Whipping Boy and Feed, this adrenaline-fueled thriller will appeal to fans of The Hunger Games and Divergent.

In the new world led by the Rebooters, former Proxy Syd is the figurehead of the Revolution, beloved by some and hated by others. Liam, a seventeen-year-old Rebooter, is Syd’s bodyguard and must protect him with his life. But armed Machinists aren’t the only danger.

People are falling ill—their veins show through their skin, they find it hard to speak, and sores erupt all over their bodies. Guardians, the violent enforcers of the old system, are hit first, and the government does nothing to help. The old elites fall next, and in the face of an indifferent government, Syd decides it’s up to him to find a cure . . . and what he discovers leaves him stunned.

This heart-stopping thriller is packed with action, adventure, and heroics. Guardian will leave you breathless until the final page.

A fast-paced, thrill-ride of novel full of non-stop action, heart-hammering suspense and true friendship—just as moving as it is exhilarating. Fans of Anthony Horowitz's Alex Rider series, James Dashner's Maze Runner, Patrick Ness's Chaos Walking series, and Marie Lu's Legend trilogy will be swept away by this story.

Amazon | B&N | IndieBound | Goodreads

Chapter One – GUARDIAN by Alex London

At night, they disposed of the bodies. There was no ceremony, no ritual, no remembrance.

“They’re human,” some argued.

“They were human,” said others. “Now they’re meat.”

“We have to study the infection,” said the doctor.

“We have to contain it,” said the counselor and gave her orders. “Burn the bodies.”

A work detail was tasked with the burning. One by one, in the dead of night, green uniforms with white masks hauled corpses to the pile. The corpses were webbed with black veins, their entire network of blood vessels visible through the pale skin. Dried blood obscured their faces and each had a single hole in the temple by the eyes, where the killing bolt went in. They were put down like livestock, burned like sacrifices.

As the bodies crackled, the doctor watched the flames, her face half in shadow, half dancing in firelight. “I believe there is a cure for this,” she said.

The counselor, standing beside her, nodded, but did not turn to look her way. “Your cure is worse than the disease.”

“You believe that?”

“It’s the truth. Your way is treason.”

“You’re in denial,” the doctor said. “This is going to get worse if we don’t stop it.”

“It’s a new world, Doctor,” the counselor replied. “We can’t turn back the clock.”

“Even to save people’s lives?”

“These”—the counselor gestured at the bodies—“are not people.”

“If it spreads?”

“Is it spreading?”

The doctor watched the young members of the work detail tossing the bodies on the pyre. They moved with the assurance of youth, the kind of attitude that allowed them to stare infection and death in the face and believe it would never touch them. “I don’t know.”

“It is your job to know.”

“I can hardly understand it. The blood turns against the body. Itching, burning. Then, expulsion. Half of them bleed out.”

“And the other half?”

The doctor clenched her jaw. “They haven’t bled out yet.”

“They are in pain?”

“They can’t communicate, but we have to restrain them to keep them from scratching their skin off with their fingernails.” The doctor sighed. “So, yes, they are in pain.”

“Put them out of their misery,” the counselor ordered.

“But, we can still learn—”

“Those are the orders.” The counselor walked away, two green uniforms trailing her into the jungle. The doctor took off her white smock, pulled the blue gloves from her hands with a loud synthetic snap, and stood before the flames. She watched her latest failed experiments turn to smoke and ash in the bonfire, every bit of blood boiled away, with all the information it might have contained.

She had ideas, dangerous to share; but if she didn’t find a way, she feared, this sickness would go further than any of them could imagine. She would record a message in case she failed. She hoped that someone would still be alive to receive it.

Read the Exclusive 3 Chapters from London’s new release, GUARDIAN here: http://bit.ly/SgMw3b 

You can read the short story PUNISHMENT, the PROXY prequel on Wattpad for free right now! Meet Syd, Knox, and Liam (from Guardian) at 15... http://w.tt/1mtouLm

C. Alexander London grew up in Baltimore, Maryland. He's an author of nonfiction for grown-ups (under a slightly different not very secret name), books for teens (as Alex London...see above), and, younger readers. He once won a 12-gauge skeet-shooting tournament because no one else had signed up in his age group. He's a Master SCUBA diver who hasn't been diving in way too long, and, most excitingly, a fully licensed librarian. He used to know the Dewey Decimal System from memory.

He doesn't anymore.

While traveling as a journalist, he watched television in 23 countries (Burmese soap operas were the most confusing; Cuban news reports were the most dull), survived an erupting volcano in the Democratic Republic of Congo, a hurricane on small island in the Caribbean, 4 civil wars (one of them was over by the time he got there, thankfully), and a mysterious bite on his little toe in the jungles of Thailand. The bite got infected and swollen and gross and gave him a deep mistrust of lizards, even though it probably wasn't a lizard that bit him.

Although he has had many adventures, he really does prefer curling up on the couch and watching some good television or reading a book. He enjoys danger and intrigue far more when it's happening to somebody else.

He lives in Brooklyn, NY.

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Cult Classics for the Modern Cult

It's out! The anthology inspired by B-movies is out now. When the submission call for this anthology was posted by Michelle Browne, I was all too excited to jump right in. I love B-movies, especially the alien invasion kind. Of course, one can't forget the completely off the wall scary-animals-killing-mercilessly-in-the-most-outrageous-way-one-can-think-of kind either. With all that in mind, "Attack of the Giant Abominable Gopher People" was born and submitted.

I'm also excited that the anthology starts off with "Attack of the Giant Abominable Gopher People." More B-movie goodness by 9 other wonderful authors continues from there.

 

 

Book Blurb: Ten insane short stories from the B-movie realm fill out this anthology. There's a little violence, some adult (18+) content, and a lot of completely bizarre creatures. Straighten your altar to the dark gods, pop open a can of your favorite mutagen, and hold on tight--there are threats much bigger than Godzilla, and they're coming to a Kindle near you.

Attack of the Giant Abominable Gopher People by L.K. Hatchett
One Saturday, Almost 2,000 Years A.D. by Ian Hutson
Save Our Oceans by Kirstin Stein Pulioff
Wickham the Roach by Rachel Savage
Whisker Bunnies From Hell by Steven Hammond
Eight Million Spec Scripts To Earth by Zig Zag Claybourne
Nexus: Octopied by Nic Wilson
The Newfoundland Medusa by Tina Power Traverse
Tomb Beasts Need Love Too by Michelle Browne
Eternal Lie by Katie de Long

Available on Amazon!

Longclaws by Steve Peek

Welcome to the Longclaws book blast.  This one of a kind horror novel by Steve Peek is an amazing journey into a different kind of horror story, with a new version of the mythology the reader might not expect. With an average of 4.7 stars out of 5, this is an amazing book that will take you places you don't expect.  Interested?  Read more!

Their world is crowded with active volcanoes, sulfur and acid rains, permanent thick clouds turn day into deep twilight. It is a violent place: moment-to-moment survival is victory, every creature is constantly predator and prey, sleep is certain death. This is home to the longclaws, beings of super-human speed, strength and senses. Their predatory skills allow them only a tenuous niche in their hellish environment. Though smart and fierce, their rank in the food chain is far below the top. One clan leader draws from ancient legends of paradise and devises a plan to escape and take his clan to the otherworld - a world filled with slow, defenseless prey. The clan activates an Indian mound deep in southern forests and enters our world -hungry for prey. Torrential rains and washed out bridges force a runaway teen, an old dowser and a Cherokee healer to face the horrors of the clan's merciless onslaught. Mankind's legends are filled with vampires, werewolves, dragons and other nightmarish. Perhaps our legend of hell is based on the world of the Longclaws.

Steve has only recently seriously taken to writing. Though he wrote and managed to have a couple of books published during his life, something clicked a few years ago and now, for better or worse, he sits at his table researching and writing about things that interest him. His wife, Annie takes care of him. She keeps him eating too well and laughing often in their old farmhouse halfway up the Blue Ridge Mountains. Steve’s forty year career in the game industry allowed him to travel extensively and explore histories and myths of peoples and places. His books on Amazon include: Longclaws, Alien Agenda, Coyote Dreaming, Otherworld and The Game Inventors Handbook. In addition to writing, he works in a vegetable garden trying not to be herbicidal, walks in the woods with a rescued dog and gathers imaginary eggs from a few cut-out, wooden hens. e loves all things ancient and appreciates the magic of life and the interconnection of all things.  He would like to hear from you via jstephenpeek on facebook or send me a message via his contact form.

After Father came home from work, they piled into their family car: a six-year-old 1949 Oldsmobile Futuramic station wagon.  Painted hunter green, their car possessed real wood trim around the side windows. He and his brother sat on blankets in the back, where the third seat had been laid flat to create space for them and the two suitcases. Tom’s sisters—Amanda and Allison—occupied the backseat, with a picnic basket between them. The basket contained sandwiches and cookies, as well as two of their mother’s green-apple pies that she had made for the new widow in Alabama.  Tires in those days were real rubber and produced hypnotic, whining sounds as the car cruised along the highway, causing occasional dogs to give chase. Their father started the car and enumerated the road-trip rules for the Mason family, which applied only to the Mason kids: no horseplay, no loud talking, no teasing brothers or sisters.  They could play games, talk, or tell stories, but in low voices.  If they stopped, everyone would go to the bathroom, real bathroom available or not.  Their estimated time of arrival was 10:00 p.m.  The host family and their guests might all be asleep or ready for bed, so as soon as introductions concluded, the kids were to go to sleep wherever their host placed them. The Futuramic hummed through the moonless darkness.  Boredom settled in, and sleep overtook all the kids except Tom.  Tom clipped his Boy Scout flashlight to the neck of his T-shirt and reread the Superman annual comic book for the thirtieth time. Tom felt the car slow and then turn onto a dirt road packed hard by a summer of little rain.  The tires vibrated on short stretches of washboard ruts in the dirt road.  Tom sensed the edge of motion sickness, so he put away his comic and sat up to stare out the back window through an accumulating layer of reddish dust. His brother, Russ, slept at his side.  At fourteen—the oldest of the Mason kids—their parents expected Russ to become the surrogate father when adults were absent.  Tom never admitted it, but he idolized his brother.  Russ was as close to a hero as Tom could imagine.  Tom knew he could depend on Russ, no matter what. Amanda, two years Tom’s senior, was the more feminine of the two sisters.  Allison—one year older than her sister and the prettier of the two—preferred mud fights and tree climbing to dolls and frilly dresses.  She tried to mother Tom when he hurt himself or fell ill, but Tom would have none of it. Tom stared out the back window.  The taillights cast a scary, red glow behind the car as the tires kicked up dust, which twisted into horizontal dirt-devils streaming from the rear of the car.  Beyond the red glow of the taillights, the complete darkness frightened Tom a little. Tom's father and mother exchanged words.  His mom twisted her body and faced the backseats.  “Wake up kids.  We are going to be there in a few minutes.  Wake up and make yourselves presentable.” The sisters stirred, emerging from whatever dreams had been born of the bouncy car and the background rhythm of the eight-cylinder engine. Mother looked past the girls at him and said, “Tom, wake up your brother.  We are almost there.” Knowing they would be at their mysterious destination soon, Tom’s phobia of meeting new people—especially new kids—welled up, feeling like the anxiety of walking to school to face a waiting bully. Without taking his eyes off the illuminated portion of the road, their father said aloud, as if making an announcement over the school intercom, “I want you on your best behavior.  The folks here are good people.  They are our relatives.  If an adult asks you to do something, do it.” He cleared his throat and continued, “So mind your Ps and Qs.  Oh, and one more thing: last time I visited, they did not have a bathroom in the house; they have an outhouse.” He paused as if preparing to issue a warning or instruction, thought better, and simply said, “You’ll get used to it.  But until you do, no complaining.” Tom saw some lights up ahead: an island in the dark. When they turned right onto the track serving as the driveway to the old country house standing fifty yards from the road, Tom looked at the layout.  The front yard was not really a yard at all.  Once part of a forest, it had been cleared long ago, and now only a few huge pine trees were left, rising over beds of needles.  Tall grass grew here and there, but gave way to dirt paths where people had walked between the pines. Light came from every window.  An electrical wire stretched fifty feet from the top of the front porch to the biggest pine tree Tom had ever seen.  Six bare bulbs—affixed to the wire—dangled about seven feet above the ground. In one of the circles of light beneath the wire, folding chairs formed a perimeter.  The chairs were occupied by men of all ages.  In the center of the group, where a fire might be in fall, sat a large washtub filled with melted ice and bottles of Coca-Cola, RC, and Nehi soda pop.  The men stopped talking to study the Masons’ car. “Hello, stranger,” one of them called, walking toward their car.  Their father nearly leapt out of the car and grabbed the man’s extended hand, which quickly pulled them together for a hug. Russ and Tom climbed out the tailgate and stood alongside the car, watching as a group of twelve or fifteen men and kids approached from the string of light bulbs. The house looked as if it had never seen a coat of paint.  The gray planks warped and strained against the rusty nails, which bled dark-red streaks from years of rain.  The steep, tin roof was nearly invisible in the night sky.  Where the main metal roof ended, another began.  A shallow slope formed a roof for the porch, which ran across the front and left sides of the house. Underneath the porch roof, bare bulbs with dangling pull-strings cast a yellow glow on all the women sitting in rockers.  Conversation halted while they examined the new arrivals. “This is my cousin, Royce.”  Their father indicated the man he’d hugged. “Hello, Royce,” their mother replied with a smile, adding, “Children, say hello to your cousin Royce.” The man was tall and thin, but somehow seemed stronger than he looked. “Hello, ma’am,” he said, offering his hand to their mother.

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Steve will be touring later in the year with the Finishing Fairies.  Please sign up for our mailing list to get more information!